the little things

Throughout this journey so far, God has shown himself. Not that He has to, but He does. We had another doctors appointment this afternoon to check my blood pressure, etc. They are basically checking me every week to make sure I don't develop preeclampsia which is common when carrying a baby with Triploidy. They are also checking to see if Lexi's heart is still beating, if we go in and they cannot find a heartbeat then they will induce. As long as we hear that sweet little heartbeat I will continue to carry her. When we went in today, I honestly had tried to prepare myself just in case we didn't hear her heartbeat. After just a second there it was, I cried and cried because I thought there's my Lexi, she is still fighting. It was a strong 156. We are so thankful to have her a little longer. Don't get me wrong I am holding out faith that we will have her here forever. We know that's God's choice and His plan.

Then on the way to a session tonight, yes I had a session. When driving to meet my client God shared a rainbow. I took a picture of it to remind me that He is here.

I love photography and while I would love to stay in my bed under the covers in a dark room until we know what God has in store for us, well I have to try to get back to life. One of the hardest parts of this journey is when people see that I am expecting and are overjoyed for us and ask when we are due, you know all the normal questions. I have made up my mind to have joy in this pregnancy. Do I break down, yes, of course, do I have doubt, yes, do I get angry, yes. I want to have joy, so when people ask I choose joy. I tell people her due date, that we are having another sweet baby girl, and that we are so excited. We are blessed to know Lexi and God's love growing inside of me. I am thankful to so many people who have reached out to us and told their story or shared how they are praying for us and Lexi. I am so thankful.