to honor Lexi

today makes a week since we buried our little girl. The days are getting better. I have been surrounded by peace the past few days, but that doesn't mean there aren't times where I just break down at the thought of everything we have been going through the past weeks. at times I don't want to heal because I feel like it means forgetting Lexi. It's a lie, I know I am being told. We will never forget. She was amazing the time I knew her.

So today makes a day since the funeral. A week ago we were meeting the funeral director at the cemetery to pick out a plot for our daughter, picked out a marker, casket....things I never thought we would have to do, never hoped we would have to do. We did it for Lexi not for us. I wanted to give her the best. So we picked a beautiful area of the cemetery near crepe myrtle trees. The following day her funeral was scheduled at 10:00am. I was looking forward to being near her again my heart aching at the thought of having to leave her at the cemetery. It seems like so long ago. Special verses that helped get us through the past weeks were read by my father-in-law her papa, followed by prayer, her sisters and brothers placing pink roses on her beautifully adorned casket. It was draped in pastel baby pink roses with baby's breath we bought for her, a pink teddy bear from her siblings, pink flowers from my mom and dad and a beautiful bouquet of flowers from some sweet friends that are more like family to us. Everything was perfect just the was we had planned for her. It was her day, a way to honor her.

At the end we had picked up about 40 pink balloons and released them in honor of Lexi. It was absolutely beautiful. Tears flowed as all of the balloons drifted to the skies out of sight. The all stayed together and slowly became little dots until we couldn't see them any longer. It truly was exactly what we wanted for Lexi. We now have a place to visit her anytime we want. I know she isn't there in spirit, but it does make me feel better to have her there.

Like I said, the days are getting better. I am slowly getting back to myself, finding peace and happiness. I can't begin to thank everyone for the cards, prayers, emails, texts. So thankful for friends and family and most of all the Lord for a peace that only He can deliver and Has. Praise be to Him!